Advice about gratitude practices seems to be the new self-checkout lane. Everywhere, well-intentioned, but never seeming to work without a hitch.
Last year I tried out what seemed to be a manageable practice: start your day by writing a small gratitude. In navigating the stressors of my job, I hoped that this would help me be more present with my daughter and more connected with my husband.
After a few months, my habit had withered in a drought of dissatisfaction. I was always just trying to get it over with so that I could get on with the “real” part of my day. I found myself writing similar gratitudes over and over, and it chafed. This past week, I stumbled upon an approach to gratitude that feels much more authentic–one that invokes the spirit of my favorite game: Dungeons and Dragons.
In Dungeons and Dragons, Legend Lore is a spell that allows the caster to name a person, place, or object and bring to mind any significant lore about that thing.
I invoked the spirit of the spell as I walked through my house, contemplating my weekly writing prompt: Pick any object in the space around you. Is there a story or lesson behind this object? Sitting cross-legged on my bed, I pretended to bask in the fumes from a brazier of incense used to cast the spell. Amidst that haze, I took a seer’s gaze to everything around me.
Cast #1: The jewel-colored dice bags on the table
My husband and I bought these when I was in graduate school and we were just getting into Dungeons and Dragons. (D&D involves a lot of dice rolling.) I chuckled remembering that these were part of an order where Amazon accidentally sent us everything in double quantities. Nostalgia over the afternoon-long gaming sessions we could have back then. Promise over introducing this beloved hobby of ours to our daughter one day.
Cast #2: The set of 3 pictures hanging in front of our bed
Each one of adorable things sleeping, chosen and framed by my husband. Our daughter as a newborn in the hospital bassinet, our two cats curled up together in a bed much too small for them, and our daughter dozing in her bouncer.
Cast #3: The Critical Role comic books on my nightstand
Every so often this past winter, my husband would take my daughter out on a walk to give me a break from parenting and would return home with a comic book from the local game store. Always unexpected but always a treat.
Cast #4: Our board game shelf
Whenever I have to provide a fun fact about myself, I always say that my stack of board games is taller than my house. I found myself looking at each game and trying to relive a memorable play session. The handful of games that we haven’t yet had a chance to play I looked at with wistfulness. I wanted to play them with my husband.
As I realized the extent to which I’m surrounded by relics of my husband’s love, I felt more connected to him, and this has noticeably changed the color of my week. All brought about by looking longingly at what I already have.
Thanks to Eviana Vergara,
, , and for their thoughtful feedback.
I loved reading this, Leslie. Between this and your Lightning Lure piece, you’re becoming quite a D&D spell caster! :)